Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
