Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
