You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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