I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
