and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
