Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
