Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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