I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
