there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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