Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize