If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
