i would punch a child for taco bell
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
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