What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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