I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
