i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
did i just pee glitter
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
