You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
one might say we're banned from that church
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
