he puts the penis in happiness.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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