Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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