Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
