I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
