fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize