Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just had sex bonerless
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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