absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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