I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize