I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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