That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
