my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize