Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
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