All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
