She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
