I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
