Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
