So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
