I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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