Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
