Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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