I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
