we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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