Define "chronic" masturbator.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
