Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
