you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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