So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
