if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
