dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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