My first STD was from a foam party
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
