I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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