im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
