I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
