I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
