I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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