people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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