just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
