i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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