The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize