party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
