guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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