You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
