I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
