i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
