I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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