turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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