we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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