Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
