i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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