margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
