i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
