im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
