What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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