this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
