Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
