You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
