Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
