Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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