i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
