Princesses don't give blow jobs
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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