but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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