I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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